I think this band needs no further introduction, cause everybody will know them by the time this mag comes out. So read the interview, which was done, while they recorded their godly album...
VOICES: Why are black clothes the best? Never seen you wearing a white
shirt, don' t you have any?
ANDY: Because we are consumed by hate, evil and death. We need darkness, we hail Hell.
AARON. We are the fucking darkest. My ass is so fucking black you would lose a tribe of Zulu's in it.
RICK:So we don't have to wash them. Anyway if you look closely you can see the splink stains on our bottoms where we ran out of Durex plus I am Satan so hail me + worship me you mortal being!
ADE: Yea! The only white bits on my black fishnet underwear is spunk from Andy's huge cock.
VOICEES: Some girls and some women might misunderstand the name MY DYING
ANDY: Well that's just fucking though tits! Just we prefer to fuck cold slags it doesn't mean they can class us as sick or misunderstand us.
AARON: No Andy, shut the fuck up you alcoholic cunt. We don't mean to offend any women with our name, we don't want it to sound like a stupid gore name. It's absolute sadness. My Dying Bride is very sad. But what's more intersting is the fact that I would love to fuck a girl up the ass, ok.
RICK: I can have any chick I want, so any bitch, slag or whore that thinks she can take my giantic penis up her fanny, come and see me when we are on tour.
ADE: I'd just like to say hi to Rock Chick Mania.
VOICES: The three best english bands in yer opinion?
ANDY: God's Crematorium
AARON: Macabre Ritual
ADE: Mayhemic Slaugtherers from the Black Pit of the Eternal Pentagram of Impending Doom.
VOICES: My Dying Bride's music sound a little bit like the old Paradise
Lost stuff? Were they a little influence on you?
ANDY: How can you say that? We play far better and faster than they do.
ADE: Do you have ears you deaf cunny?
RICK: Our songs are far more superior to theirs, but that's understandable cause they're crap! Besides, my cocks bigger than Tudds' so come and fuck me bitches.
AARON: Come on Leif, check your fucking ears. Most of our stuff is faster than theirs, you only think we sound like them coz we come from the same area.
VOICES: It's only a stupid test - 91, 63, 49... please try to go on!
AARON: Cunt, fanny, vagina, quim, vadge, minge, hole, lovebox, hotlips, beaver, fishmarket, grimsby, dock.
ANDY: Suck my 12"er. You mathematical nobody. IL ZUL XAL.
ADE: Forest dry cider is produced in Herefordshire the home of english cidermaking. The juce from the cider apples is fremented and matured by traditional methods to ensue that highest quality eider can be enjoyed today - don't try to out wered me you bastard.
RICK: You think your a clever cunt don't you? Well fuck you! You are fit bastard! And don't forget slags. My penis is massive and waiting for your juicy pussy's!
VOICES: No question sorry!
AARON: No fucking answer.
VOICES: How has your 7" GOD IS ALONE been doing? Never heard the
name LISTENABLE REC. Could you tell us a bit about that label?
AARON: No, fuck my pets.
ANDY: The 7" sold out very quickly. But my 7"er is still avaible if you want. Fucking up the arse, dude.
ADE: GOD IS ALONE because there's no one with him.
RICK: Don't fuck Aarons pets, they are shit. Fuck me instead. I am Satan. My cock is hell. Experience this, the ultimate hell, lick my penis and knackers, bastard chops.
VOICES: What would be the first question you would ask god, if you meet
ANDY: What are you doing after the gig, god? Coz I've got a spare packet of Durex.
RICK: Can I have a sloppy seconds after you Andy? Fuckin' Hell God, shut up and keep sucking.
AARON: Can I have chicken in curry with 2 popadoms?
ADE: Sorry I've forgotten your name.
VOICES: Do you also like to walk through woods when it's dark?
ADE: No, coz I can't see Ricks ass wobble.
ANDY: I don't have too. I just walk through Ricks cocks hairs. It's the same thing.
RICK: Only when I'm chasing young virgins!
AARON: Fuck yeah! Knob first.
VOICES: I saw on a photo, you're five piece band now!???
AARON: Fuck yeah, you're right. Your eyesight is better than your fucking ears. I eat pussy.
ANDY: Yes you bastard, that was my fucking cat you fucking cunting bastard slag fuck.
RICK: More arse to fuck than a four-piece. Slack knacker. Hail me, I am Satan!
ADE: Yea so wot you can count you cunt.
VOICES: Do you know the difference between a man and a woman?
RICK: Who cares? You can get your cock up both of them! I am Satan! My penis is massive!
ANDY: Hey! I thought I was a woman until I frigged myself and got shit all over my fingers.
AARON: Fuck yeah! Women smell more.
VOICES: You're all pretty beautiful in the band (fuck yes!), so why
don't you play hardrock? You could propably earn tons of money, have groupies
and so on!
AARON: We have groupies already. Small children, choir boys, brownies, they all taste the same to me.
ANDY: I prefer ugly wimmin that's why I play DEATH METAL!
RICK: I don't give a fuck as long as I can get a little bit of Sex.
VOICES: Well, what can a normal person do, while listening to yer music?
RICK: They can masterbate to the sound of the knell. Then suck my penis.
AARON: You can lick my massive balls if ya fuckin like.
ANDERS: You can put the kettle on and have a cup of tea.
ADE: Darling, it is not your problem.
VOICES: Would you really describe yer music as DEATH METAL? Gloomy Doom
Metal is the way I would call it?
RICK: I call it shit!!!
ANDY: I'd class it as evil, morbid, dark, sad, sorrowful, pitying, black, harrowing and deadly pop muic.
AARON: Fuck yeah!
VOICES: Would you drink
AARON: Fuck me, if it got me drunk, I would drink the blood from the nuns tampon.
ANDY: Fucking Hell Aaron! I wouldn't if I was you. They taste shit.
ADE: Of course - any alcohol will do.
RICK: Fuck! I will drink a dogs arse if you give me one!
VOICES: This is not
really a question, it's just a place where you can say and write whatever you
RICK: FUCK OFF BITCH! YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. I WANT SHAG!
ADE: We're just taken a photo of my arse and Ricks head - I love rock chick.
AARON: When we go on tour around Europe I want to fuck anyone ok. Any sex, any age, I don't care!
VOICES: Best LP in
1988, 1990, 1991 & 1992, eh???
1988: BLOOD FIRE DEATH
1990: VIOLATOR - DEPECHE MODE
1991: FOREST OF EQUILIBRIUM - CATHEDRAL
1992. AS THE FLOWER WITHERS - MY DYING BRIDE
VOICES: What was the last book you read? Yer opinion about it?
AARON: 1000 DAYS TILL SODO by the Marquis de Sade. I would love him to whip my tight honky ass.
ANDY: NAM by Mark Baker. My opinion? It's the best book on men/women at war.
ADE: EON - Greg Bear. BARE ASS!
RICK: DARK HALF, James Herbert. Really cool. Gave me a hard-on and I went and fucked a cows bottom. Called Gill.
VOICES: Future goals? Last words. Some kisses for your fans? Are 20
questions really enough? Blablabla
AARON: Fuck, fuck yeah. Thanks for your cunting questions. Now I'm going over my cock with chicken fat then stuff it up a slags tight ass, push it in and out until I spunk up her intenstines, then eat a curry.
ANDY: Thank you very much for this godly interview. I will now go away and spunk on the stamp to save on licking. Hail Hell.
RICK: You are an utmost godly being Leif, take no shit from anyone. I am proud to be in your godly mag. Fludypants urinating on your motherfucking anal passage. Hail Heaven. Jesus Saves.
AARON: Stickle me froggle damp botty nigy with chives and snoggle wide trickle sniket. Dude!!
ADE: Rock tarts forever fondling my arse!
AARON: Fuck yeah!
ANDY I am evil! Do not drink my sponk. It will burn the mouths of innocent virgins. Only tested slags can fuck with me. AAARRRGGGGHH!!! Fuck.
AARON: FUCK YEAH!
RICK+ANDY+AARON+ADE: Cheers for your most interesting int. Don't take our answers too seriously. But print them anyway. It is really an exclusive, believe us. Cheers again and we can't wait to fuck your mum when we come to Germany. Keep her pussy wet. Bye...
I think there is nothing more to add...
You can write to MY DYING BRIDE at the following address:
MY DYING BRIDE
8 Lowfield Road
Dewsbury, W. Yorkshire
(please enclude S.A.E./I.R.C.)